New Blackjack Players

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Oh, what a fun time I had at the casino last week! I had the dubious delight of playing at the same table as two very strong personalities, both of whom I suspect to have small to large gambling problems.

The 24-Hour Guy

The first was a dapper fellow who seemed to determine to lose as much money as possible in the time he was within spitting distance of a casino – so apparently he chose not to sleep. I was hoping he was fastidious enough about his appearance to go to the hotel every so often to shower and change (in his case, a cold shower or he would’ve fallen asleep standing up). He was playing primarily at the $5 minimum table, but he had only green and black chips ($25 and $100, respectively, for those of you not acquainted with casinos) and was usually playing at least $100 and up to the table maximum of $300. He occasionally also played the $10 minimum table and the double deck games. During the shuffle (hand shuffle at this casino), he would play the slots.

As far as I could determine, 24H Guy had no betting strategy. His betting was all over the board, jumping from $25 up to $300 in an apparently random way. He also wasn’t a very nice person. In the 3 days (without sleep!) I watched him play at this casino, he never once tipped the dealer. He bummed cigarettes from his fellow players and I never heard him offer any kind of token compensation. By the second day, he was beginning to grumble and grouse about how other people played their hands and how they bet – and it was starting to piss people off. One player started making crazy plays – hitting a stiff hand against a dealer bust card or standing on 6 or 7 against a dealer 10 – for no other reason than to piss 24H Guy off. She didn’t even care that these moves caused her to lose – players and dealers alike were pretty fed up with the guy.

But it’s a hard fact of life in the casino – if there’s someone who’s won big money and they are then doing their best to lose it all before they leave, they would have to be very, very offensive to the other players before casino personnel step in and say something to them. And he wasn’t being overtly obnoxious – his annoying behaviors were very subtle, taking digs at other players for playing the minimum bet (what – did he think everyone was willing to lose as much money as he was?) and grousing quietly about plays he didn’t find agreeable.

The Noisy Drunk

It’s like there’s some unwritten code that every casino must have a regular player who is a noisy drunk and the casino I like to play at has one that is a personality and then some. This guy comes in mornings – and at 9 a.m., he’s already fully loaded and still chugging down more beer.

Fortunately for everyone, he’s a very gregarious and friendly drunk. Everyone in the casino knows his name because he happily introduces himself in such a loud voice that you can hear him throughout the entire pit – and sometimes half the casino, depending on how much he’s had to drink. Once he’s entered the casino, any hope of a quiet game of blackjack (or anything else) flies out the window. He’s one of those people who shouts “Yeah, baby! Hit me!” or “C’mon, baby, gimme a 10!” or “Hit it again!” – among other things, but you get the idea. Every hit, every blackjack, every win – for himself and frequently for other players at the table – is loudly announced. It’s like sitting next to a speaker at a stadium during a ball game.

His effusive congratulations (self and otherwise) aren’t limited to his table, either. He likes to stand up while playing, apparently so he can carry his enthusiasm over to other tables. Because, of course, everyone in the casino is his friend, whether or not he knows their name or has ever seen them before – or can even remember having seen them before. He will come over to another table and hug someone he thinks is a buddy. Not an especially pleasant experience for me, since I don’t like being hugged by friends, much less strangers or casual acquaintances, and he wears a muscle shirt and smells boozy. I put on my best “don’t even think about it” body language, which he has cheerfully ignored on more than one occasion.

This trip, however, was the first time I had the occasion to play at the same table and I discovered that he likes to coach players. Unlike 24H Guy, he’s not a perfect basic strategy player and he “coaches” people in error – or loudly proclaims your error in the friendliest way possible.

After awhile, the loud drunk guy gets on my nerves. He’s funny and entertaining for about the first 10 minutes, but after that it becomes annoying, especially when he’s playing at the same table. OK – it’s annoying when he’s at another table, too, because he is SO LOUD.

For me, half of playing blackjack is social and playing at the same table with these two personalities definitely wasn’t a good social experience. I was up a couple hundred dollars, so I cashed out and left.

I was recently playing at a Southern California casino and – as usual – there was someone at the table moaning and groaning about how everyone else played their hand.

Seriously, she almost screamed (and not in delight) when another player contemplated splitting his pair of 9s against the dealer’s 3. He wavered and decided to stand on the hand.

It might have made the woman happy, but it was the wrong move.

If you’re a new blackjack player – and you haven’t studied Basic Strategy – you might be thinking to yourself: “Huh? Wha…? Split a pair of 9s against a dealer 3? But a pair of 9s is a winning hand against a dealer 3!”

That’s probably what most new blackjack players think – and apparently, a lot of “experienced” blackjack players, as well.

Ask yourself something – how do you advance your chip count in blackjack?

1. You raise your bets.
2. You split whenever possible.
3. You double down whenever possible.
4. All of the above

Basic Strategy says you’re going to split that pair of 9s against a dealer up card of 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8 and 9.

Huh? Wha…??

Yes, that’s what it says. And here’s why…

It should be obvious why you’re going to split them against a dealer’s 2-6. Any time you can, you’re going to try and increase your chip count by splitting. What’s the worst that can happen? If the deck is rich in 10s, instead of having one hand of 18, you’re going to have two hands of 19 or possibly 20 (if you get an Ace). If the deck is depleted of 10s, you may catch a 2, which will give you a double down against a dealer bust card and another opportunity to increase your chip count. In any case, you’re going to have 2 hands to play against a dealer bust card.

But why, you may ask, am I splitting them against an 8 or a 9?

If the dealer is showing an 8 and you expect the down card is a 10, all you have is a push – and you may be okay with that. The Wizard of Odds says to stay on this hand, but it appears to me the cost of splitting versus standing is minimal and I can’t find any other statistics on split v. stand on this play. All things being equal, I’ll go with the Basic Strategy engine, which says split it. If the shoe is heavy with 10s, you’ve got a good chance of improving your 18 to two better hands of 19 or 20. If it’s light with 10s, then you have a good chance of a getting a 3 or 4 and a double down on one or both of your hands.

I always split against a dealer 9. An 18 is not a winning hand if the dealer has a 10 or an Ace under the 9 they’re showing. If you stand on this hand, you’ll beat the dealer’s hand (on average) 8 hands out of 20. If you split this hand, your chances of beating the dealer’s hand improves to about even.

Now, I could understand if the woman mentioned at the beginning of this story was upset about a player contemplating splitting 9s against a dealer 7, 8 or 9. A lot of players don’t know those are splits; or, even if they know it, they may choose not to split. But to have a fit about splitting 9s against a dealer 3? Another bonehead move and another reason why you should learn Basic Strategy for yourself and not let the other players at the table influence how you play.

I just returned from a couple days in Palm Springs, where I played at The Spa the entire time, mostly because I was winning most the time and I was too lazy to drive somewhere else.

This was not a fun-filled, carefree couple of days. It started out really good – I got into town, had a glass of wine with a friend, she “saged” me – then I dropped my bags off at her place and went to the casino. The next day, I was having server problems, one of my biggest web sites got shut down for resource abuse, and I’d forgotten my laptop power supply, so I couldn’t spend a lot of time online dealing with this.

Consequently, because I (a) arrived in the afternoon on the first day and (b) dealt with problems the morning of the second day, it wasn’t until (c) the third day that I played in the morning, which is actually one of my favorite times to go to the casino. As a result, it wasn’t until my last day of play that I ran into one of the regulars who fancies herself an expert.

For all you new blackjack players: beware the “expert” at your table!

This woman was full of advice (most of it wrong) for everyone she thought was making a bonehead move. This included: you never split 9s, you never split 2s or 3s, you never ever double down a soft hand (A+ another card) except when the dealer is showing a 5 or a 6, you never hit soft 18 (A,7) – and so on and so forth. If you’ve done your homework and learned basic strategy, you know that this advice is wrong wrong wrong. I try my best to ignore this kind of behavior but it has required nearly biting my tongue in half at times. Counting my chips helps. Tracking the amount of hands the “expert” loses versus the amount of hands I win also makes me feel better.

I used to give advice at the table. I used to ask for advice. One usually isn’t welcome and the other isn’t smart. Don’t ask others at the table for advice. Go to the Blackjack Basic Strategy engine, print yourself off the basic strategy for the various rules – then memorize them. Carry them in your pocket or your purse, if you need to – the casino doesn’t care if you pull them out and look at them. You can even buy the cards at the same site as the Basic Strategy engine.

Don’t tell other people how to play their hand unless they ask for help – and even then, only tell them how you would play that hand and always say “but it’s your money so do what you want.” If you don’t like how someone is playing their hand, either sit out a couple hands or change tables. (I know – this isn’t always an option when tables are limited.) And for gawd’s sake – make sure YOU aren’t giving bad advice! If you aren’t solid about having memorized the basic strategy, just tell them you really aren’t sure. You are under no obligation to teach others to play, especially if you’re still kind of shaky yourself. Sometimes, the person making bonehead moves knows better – and doesn’t care. There was one fellow at my table who was regularly splitting 10s. If you know what you’re doing (i.e., you count cards), you may sometimes split 10s because it’s to your advantage to do so. However – I am 99% certain this guy was no card counter. He was hitting stiff hands against a dealer bust card and splitting 10s and he simply didn’t give a flying <whatever> if nobody liked it. The little voice inside of me cheered every time he lost big when he did this.

In summary, get the basic strategy cards or print them out and memorize them and then you don’t need to qualify some stranger as being an “expert.”

I made the mistake of going to a casino on Sunday, the middle day of a 3-day holiday weekend.

Oh.My.God. I know I should know better – but what about all the other people there??

I’m not going to name the casino or do a review about that visit – I figured I’d give them a chance midweek some time and do a review when there were fewer people there.

I went over to the pits to check out the blackjack and some tables were not only full, there was a crowd behind the players, waiting for a seat. Obviously, this was more prevalent at the $5 min table, but the $10 tables were nearly as bad. There were two pits and only one $5 in each, with one being a non-smoking table. At this particular casino, probably 50% of the tables had a CSM – and I won’t play at one of those. So – I decided to just stand and practice counting. The crowd waiting for a seat at the $5 gave me good cover for the practice and with the number of people, nobody was going to recognize me another day of the week.

(I won’t even talk about the crowds at the numerous slot machines – holy moly. It was a fight to get to the bathroom. Which also had a line.)

Here’s something I don’t understand… there were people who waited 2 hours to get a seat at the $5 min table, then sat down and pulled… $40 out of their pocket.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph – who spends 2+ hours waiting to play a whole whopping $40? One woman lasted a whole 15 minutes before she lost her $40 buy-in. Lessee – 2 hours for 15 minutes of play that costs $40?

Someone explain to me how that’s fun.

When I got tired of practicing the count (or lost it completely and gave up for the shoe – this is why I’m not a card counter), I’d talk to some of the people who were waiting. Very few had any clue how to play – they were there to have a good time. And wait 2 hours to have it. God help the player who got up to stretch or go to the bathroom or go have a smoke. There’d be a rush for the seat, at which point the player – and the dealer – would have to explain that the seat wasn’t being vacated, the player was just taking a break. And even if the seat wasn’t being vacated, there would then be a discussion about whose seat it would be if it was being vacated. The poor dealer, head down and dealing, had no idea who came when or who had wandered off to see if something else might be available – then come back. At one point, the pit boss numbered off who was next (I stepped away so I wouldn’t be numbered). That was when there were only 3 people waiting. Another fellow arrived shortly after the #3 numbered person – no doubt feeling safe that a place at the table was assured – went to the bathroom. When she returned and the dealer told her replacement who was who and what order they were in, he had a fit. I mean – there wasn’t even a seat available yet and he was fighting over it! He told her she wasn’t there when he got there – how could she be #3? She explained she’d gone to the bathroom, at which point he insisted that meant she lost her place. A real gentleman, that. He left long before even the person in the #2 spot got a seat at the table.

One poor woman who was waiting (after the pit boss gave up numbering) took a nap at one of the slot machines. And what was really hilarious was that, in this very crowded casino where obviously slots are the #1 game in town, some fellow just couldn’t resist playing the slot machine she was sleeping in front of – he was just trying to be very, very careful not to disturb her slumber.

In addition to waiting an unbelievable amount of time to play, most of these people showed how little they knew by the way they played. People, a “no-bust” playing strategy is a losing strategy. If you’re afraid of busting, don’t play blackjack. Your chances of pulling a card and making a hand are much better if you hit a stiff hand 12-16 against a dealer’s 7 or higher than your chances of the dealer busting if you don’t. I’m wondering if some players don’t realize that 12-16 cannot beat any hand the dealer may make and that the dealer must bust in order for them to win. Well, I’m here to tell ya – that’s how it works. If the dealer has 7 or higher, you need to hit 12-16 even if you think you might bust. Standing on it is just plain stupid unless you’re a card counter – and trust me, there aren’t any card counters at a $5 min table on a holiday weekend, especially any willing to wait 2 hours to get a seat.

By the same token, don’t stand on 14 against a dealer 10 – then hit 13 against a dealer 6! Honest to God – what I saw on Sunday wasn’t bad strategy – it was no strategy!

I continue to be amazed at how many people will sit down and play a game about which they (apparently) know absolutely nothing. We were all beginners once – but there’s no excuse for remaining a beginner.

I’m not always going to say where I was playing blackjack when I report on my gambling trips and adventures – I’m afraid one of these days someone will recognize me from the posts.

However, I just returned late yesterday from a three-day playing binge where I actually made some money. What I like about blackjack is the social experience. I talk to the other players, the dealers, the pit bosses – it’s all part of the game to me.

I’ve been a regular at a somewhat local casino for the last several weeks and encountered a dealer I nicknamed the Stern Asian Dealer.  I think in all the times I’ve been at her table, she’s cracked a smile once or twice. Most of the time, however, she’s just there to do her job. And I gotta give it to her – she does it very well. She deals the cards nice and neat, not too fast, not too slow (another dealer at the same casino is painfully slow – and he always seems to come on shift at my table just when I’m trying to make a few extra bucks before I have to meet my deadline to leave). The Stern Asian Dealer does not give any indication to players that their blackjack strategy is good, bad or nonexistent – she just deals the cards, plays her hands and collects or pays out the chips. If you want to hit a hard hand against her bust card, go right ahead. She will not even hesitate to give you another card – you don’t even get a polite “are you sure?” – which, for most dealers, is the nice way of saying only a complete moron would hit this – are you asleep or just drunk? Not the Stern Asian Dealer – she will stand there with one hand on the shoe, waiting to pull a card out of it once you are done agonizing – but she will not offer unsolicited advice.

Now, should you ask her what you should do, she will quietly and nicely tell you what “the book” advises. Her basic strategy is good – she knows how the game is played.

But that’s only if you ask. If you don’t ask, she will deal you a card if that’s what you want. She will watch while you double down a 4 and a 2 against her 5 or 6 and then efficiently lay your next card face down over the others. If you put out a matching stack of chips and indicate you want to split your 10s, she will line up the cards with the chips and deal you a hit on the first split hand.

At no time while the hand is being played will her facial expression or other body language indicate to you that you are about to spit in the face of basic strategy for blackjack and do something no player with a brain would do.

However…….

When the hand is done being played, she will look at you and tell you – in a tone of voice I’m positive her children never want to hear for as long as they live – exactly what you did wrong and how it affected the play at the table for that hand. God help you if you do something stupid while playing at the table where Stern Asian Dealer is dealing cards! If you thought your fellow players were tough to deal with after a stupid move, it’s nothing compared to the stern matriarchial expression and tone of voice you’ll encounter at this table!

So remember: if you’re not sure about your basic strategy, don’t hesitate to ask. Some dealers will give you subtle signals, but table etiquette says not to tell someone else how to play unless they ask and there are some dealers who won’t even give you subtle signals.